Trophies
Auto Dealer(Bronze) - Kill 50 enemies with the sub-machinegun. "You would think this one would have been automatic. Get it? Automatic? Nothing?"
Beat the Snot out of Wellesley with My Bare Hands(Silver) - Defeat Wally Wellesley in the final boss battle. "Like I said…"
Bedlam Basher(Bronze) - Kill a Bandit from behind with a melee attack. "Good for you. Coward."
Better Than One(Silver) - Score two headshots with one bullet. "Eat lead...both of you!"
Blind Luck(Bronze) - Kill 25 enemies using blind fire. "Sorry. Didn't see you standing there."
Boom(Bronze) - Blow up 50 explosive objects. "Hey...I didn't pay for 'em. Why should I care?"
Dances With Guns(Bronze) - Complete both nightclub encounters without any of the dance-bots being destroyed. "Do dancing robots dream of disco sheep?"
Death Hazard(Bronze) - Score 20 single-shot Zombie kills. "Don't these things usually hang out in shopping malls?"
Deja-Vu (All Over Again)(Silver) - Defeat Sting Sniperscope yet AGAIN on Level 7. "I. Have had. Enough. Of YOU!"
Deja-Vu(Bronze) - Defeat Sting Sniperscope again in Level 3. "Your present ends now. Again."
Disco is Dead(Bronze) - Defeat Sonny Tang. "Sonny, YOUR ass is kicked!"
Draw(Bronze) - Kill 50 enemies with the Dual-Wield Six-Shooters. "Now all we need is the spaghetti…"
Eat FIST!(Bronze) - Perform 10 single-hit melee kills. "In Hazard Land, the hand can be used like a knife."
Feeling Punchy(Silver) - Defeat five enemies in a row using melee combat. "Not as fast as shooting...but it sure is satisfying."
Fire Hazard(Bronze) - Shoot and destroy 30 fire extinguishers. "Extinguishers. They're not just for fires anymore."
Hands-On Approach(Bronze) - Defeat an enemy using melee combat. "I don't need a stinkin' gun to deal with YOU!"
Hazard Avoider(Bronze) - Complete the game on the Minor Hazard difficulty setting. "Sure you won…my GRANDMOTHER could win on 'Easy!'"
Hazard Master(Gold) - Complete the game on the Maximum Hazard difficulty setting. "You've done this before, haven't you?"
Head Cheese(Bronze) - Kill all enemies in the butcher shop with head shots. "Nice shooting! But it's not like you're PAYING for that ammo. Feel free to use more."
Head of the Class(Silver) - Score 100 headshots. "Don't lose your head! Oh...too late."
Headache(Bronze) - Score 20 headshots. "A shot in the head is worth two in the chest."
Housing Crisis(Bronze) - Escape from Dexter's mansion. "I gotta get me a house like THAT!"
It's HAZARD TIME!(Bronze) - Start your first game. "Thanks for buying my game. I'm sure you'll enjoy it. --Sincerely, Matt Hazard"
Just a Flesh Wound(Silver) - Complete a level without dying. "Eight million corpses in this level…and you're not one of them."
King of Hazard Land!(Platinum) - Earn all Trophies in the game. "You. Are. The. MAN! (Unless you are a lady. In which case, I apologize.)"
Maxx Karnage(Bronze) - Collect 20 Hazard pickups. "Maxx Karnage…sounds like a cool action hero name."
Meat Your Maker(Bronze) - Destroy all of the meat in the Level 2 meat locker. "Have a beef with the owner? Steaking your claim? Beating your…hey, I can go on all day."
Meet Quentin.(Gold) - Meet Quentin. "DUDE!!!!!"
Migraine(Bronze) - Score 50 headshots. "That's using your head!"
Multiplayer Master!(Bronze) - "What? No multiplayer? Sigh. Well…not like we can take the trophy back NOW…"